In 2011, it was hard to get away from the song Pumped Up Kicks. More than a breakout hit for Foster the People, it was in all the air we breathe. Such a catchy tune. There’s an irony in its popularity, though: the homicidal musings of an angst-filled youth who probably wasn’t all that popular himself.
And there’s long been a thought the Elvis Costello’s song Alison, nearly 50 years old now, has a similar intention in the refrain “my aim is true.” He swears it does not mean the song’s narrator promises he shoots straight, but enough people thought about it that this second meaning has stuck.
It’s easy to see violence even when it’s not present—or at least not intentionally. “Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.” Thanks, Zep.
A few years ago, I made a deliberate choice to start clearing my business writing of words that are unintentionally violent. Before I go further, this choice has zero to do with censorship—self or otherwise. Neither is this some move toward purity. I am devout user of naughty words; if all goes well, my final words will be a string of curse words.
No, this is a decision based on the power of words. Of trying to understand the residue they leave after spoken or written. If I’m going to trade words for money, I may as well use the right ones.
It goes a little further than that, if I’m going to be open about it. I’ve worked in spheres of women’s well-being for a lot of years and I recognize that words can be slippery, yet fierce. It’s easy to eel out of intention by suggesting, ah, you took it the wrong way. Words accumulate and rise up from memory like jagged crags: they cut, even when used haphazardly.
And there’s a laziness, too. I see that always with the word impact. I know common use has made it ok to use as a way of leaving an impression or creating change. Its first meaning is about using force, of colliding. Does impact describe the way I want to be in the world? It just does not fit.
Do I need to aim for something when I can try? Plan? Work toward? Drive? Strive?
Should I have a kick-off or can I start something?
Why kill two birds? Maybe I can work smarter, not harder instead.
I know. Fun police. But I’d question why we’d want to hang onto phrases like these. Is the idea of killing two birds with a stone fun?
This bucket of English we use to communicate with each other is full. I urge everyone to reach in and pull out fresh words to say what you mean. For one, your writing and speaking will become more memorable. And maybe using fewer aggressive terms will ease our collective edginess a bit and save the right words for when you give a &%(@.
Choose these resources for learning about keeping words powerful and idioms less violent:
- It’s time to stop using violent words and phrases at work - Fast Company
- A guide to non-violent communication - CultureAlly. Yes, normalizing words can lead to more harmful expressions.
- Reddit’s take on using non-violent alternatives - Reddit. tl;dr people don’t like it. They like metaphors, but fail to take on the challenge of creating new ones. Why hang onto tired ways of saying things?
What do you think?